my APPROACH: HONESTY, NUANCE, & jOY!
how to use my insights
In my videos I’m going to break down all sorts of psychological phenomena and interpersonal dynamics. If and when I accurately describe your internal experience, my description will resonate emotionally for you and you will experience something clicking. Then you can take this piece of insight and start applying it to make connections about how you function and your relationships.
More connections mean you can pinpoint more opportunities for responding in a new way. This then leads to more good feelings and more fulfilling relationships. I want you to feel what it means to know at your core that you are loveable and capable!
three core values
The conventional social scripts, or basic success templates, don’t work for most people. Most people do not become happy by doing “what they are supposed to do.” You become happier by building a life that is tailored to you, within the circumstances that are available. My approach to this type of living relies on three values: honesty, nuance, and joy!
Honesty
I am extremely rigid when it comes to my own honesty. For me, truth-telling has been a source of clarity and strength.
I don’t mean “radical honesty”, which seems to be about blurting. Honesty without self-reflection and insight is just a temper tantrum. I mean knowing what I think and feel and only saying things I believe.
I don’t expect people to share this value, but I do encourage people to be honest with themselves. You can even be honest about not being able to be honest. You need honesty to know yourself, and you need to know yourself for real confidence.
Nuance
Context matters. What things mean depends on the meaning of the things around them. I want to know the details. I encourage curiosity about internal meaning, including all the shades of grey and seeming contradictions.
You and the people you talk to need to know what your words mean to you and you need to know what your words mean to you. And vice versa. Without the complexities, you won’t be able to make sense of yourself and your life.
Joy!
Joy is a primary way of engaging existence. It’s finding awe, pleasure, and beauty by playing in the world. Tap into the joy throughout your day.
My version of irrepressible exuberance includes: Flying with music. Staring at clouds. Dancing in the grocery store. Meditating on a tree. Twirling with a skirt. Complimenting strangers. Losing my train of thought in my husband’s eyes. Smiling into his smile. Surrendering to the giggles. Snuggling and singing and laughing and learning and talking.
What are your favorite ways?